 Going Around on the Internet |
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
ceehiro
That'll fcuk the splelchekcer.
As I've Matured...
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in my house, it's my kid.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. (contributed by Paul Niland)
Pondering
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust"
I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me... they were cramming for their finals.
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified
in case of an emergency. I think you should write... A Good Doctor.
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do... write to these men? Why don't
they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
I thought about being rich and it don't mean so much... Just
look at Henry Ford, all those millions and he never owned a Cadillac.
If you jogged backward... would you gain weight?
Wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?
I wonder if Adam ever said to Eve, "Watch it! There are plenty more ribs where you came from."
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More in the section:
Bare Churchill
Quotations by..
Wonders of the World
Read also previous issue' articles:
The $5,000 Loan
Last Words
The Water Cooler
Pyrohies
Home Improvement
Too many Questions
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