This old hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?"
The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing."
"Save it, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothin' now!"
Kid Talk
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-o and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
The second kid replies, "Whoa, Good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."
Tennessee Talking Dog
In Tennessee, a man sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt sitting.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yup," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government so I told the CIA about my gift. In no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger.
So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals, had a wife and a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten Dollars," the owner says.
"This dog is amazing," the guy says. "Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"He's such a liar," the owner replies. "He didn't do any of that stuff."
|
