 Of Deadlines and Sundry Matters and "Right Wing Nuts" By Glen willard |
I write this on the 13th of November over two weeks before the December UO goes to the printer. Most unusual for me. Usually L&A is the last matter I take care of before we put the magazine to bed for another month. This is in keeping with my proclivity at procrastination. That same proclivity caused me to have breakfast this morning at a nearby restaurant and the coffee served with breakfast created the mood (attitude) that produces this beginning. So, procrastination plus bad coffee equals work? I dunno. Anyway, an attitude.
Actually the coffee wasn't that bad. It was just that it was brought in a small cup and half-filled. A thimbleful of coffee, even strong, does not an American thing make. Just one of the frustrations we Americans find in Ukraine (and one, among the few others, easily overlooked in view of other virtues of life here). After three thimblefuls of said coffee I finally had the waitress looking for a mug. None was found but the cup used to serve tea in was considerably larger than the alleged coffee cup (and a better alternative than the two-handled soup bowl I had been eyeing). I had them fill the tea cup to the brim with what they call coffee American style and for good measure had it nuked so it was actually hot as opposed to lukewarm when it arrived. Ah, now for my Eggs Benedict breakfast.
Alas, it wasn't really Eggs Benedict. Now I had eaten "Eggs Benedict" at the restaurant before. And, I knew the ham wouldn't be Canadian bacon and the bread would not be an English muffin. But, no hollandaise sauce? OK. Another minor frustration? Well, maybe. The gumbo on the dinner menu isn't gumbo either. It is a very tasty dish and has some of the ingredients that could go properly with a good gumbo. That is: shrimp, sausage and chicken. But none of the really good stuff that comes from the Gulf or the swamps and looks up at you menacingly as you eat. But as we all well know there is no gumbo if there is either no okra or no sassafras (file’). And were it gumbo, sometimes the roux (whatever they use) produces a very thick soup dish, which would more properly be referred to as a e’touffe’e. The worst insult though is not to the palate but to the mind on reading the English inscription on the menu-"a South American soup". Louisiana, South America?
Anyway, one (including me) need not get too worked up over these minor vagaries. After all, I've seen Ukrainians sneer at our "weak" coffee and a Ukrainian would probably laugh out loud at an American restaurant's interpretation of "Russian" borsch.
But back to coffee. I don't drink the stuff. Actually, as seen, I do but only on occasion. I stopped years ago when I found myself constantly with a near full cup at my desk at work. My first and only (at least until, much later, doctor's orders) concession to good health and fitness. What? Me run? Jog? You kidding?
But I occasionally will have the urge for a mug of hot Java. This, usually occurs on those rare occasions that I have breakfast and even more rarely, now, around a campfire and from a Sierra cup. In Ukraine I sometimes do dream of that rare good cup of American coffee. These days that's probably found mostly at an all night, all year Waffle House or similar restaurant or a place that has a lot of 18-wheelers parked out front. Or, frequently at the now rare mom and pop type small cafe. You know, the ones that still have "meat and three sides" lunch and supper specials. For the uninitiated: meat and three sides means that they serve meat (usually a choice of meat-e.i. meatloaf-or beef or pork-or fish or chicken) with another choice of three from four or five vegetables. All at one low price, iced tea (sweetened or unsweetened) served automatically and included in the price (plus free refills).
But, I think I've been away too long. I understand (actually I saw a number on my last trip home) now a lot of Americans partake of a something called latte. And there are designated places where one drinks the stuff. And it's a kind of coffee. But, as I understand it's also like going to one of those Ben and Jerry places that serve gazillion types of ice cream. (Ice cream, ...33 flavors? Ben, Jerry, it's been done before; ever heard of Howard Johnson's?) But anyway this apparently started in the Northwest left coast of the U.S. and has spread countrywide and, like kudzu, may soon be beyond control. The boll weevil and fire ants plague my part of the country too. Actually, kudzu does have beneficial effects. It covers a lot of old junked cars and trash pits when in season. It also can produce some eerily beautiful scenes at dusk and dawn with its many shapes and forms.
Seems with this latte thing, it's a cool (cool?...sorry, my age showing...) thing to do. A modern Vienna coffee house concept no less. Very intellectual. Understand people discourse (not talk...a kind of talking?) and even read books (the good ones...latest bestsellers, high brow stuff), high class fashion magazines, etc. Also one can buy souvenirs, cool (ugh, that word again) coffees, coffee pots (excuse...coffee delivery systems and appurtenances) and such. I picture people sitting around in tennis whites, jogging togs and such but drinking latte and eating what the English call biscuits when they aren't otherwise occupied drinking wine or other aperitif and "having brie". These people all drive environmentally correct vehicles... except that SUVs and BMW station wagons clutter the parking lot. Does BMW have a station wagon? I don't know, but I have nothing at all against SUVs...just feel more comfortable in a long bed pickup (gun rack included). Query? Do those guys in the tennis togs, sans pickem'up truck, squat to pee? Oops! Sorry. My redneckidness showing.
But before we leave latte shops I have a marketing suggestion. Why not add health foods at brunch time? Tofu maybe? Or veggie burgers? Kinda like McDonald's a few years ago when they added the Egg McMuffin for breakfast. Just a suggestion. Maybe already done?
Ok as before, several times over for sure, the discerning reader will calculate, observe the words written, bring his intelligence to bear on the subject and probably conclude that I'm neither overly discerning nor intelligent. In fact I may not be what's known as a liberal either. (Note the use of the masculine pronoun in the first sentence of this paragraph.) I managed to get through a couple of years of schooling and failed to find a teacher of English or teacher or professor of any other subject that mentioned chairperson or fireperson or Godperson and never ever anything so godawful sounding or convoluted as "herstory" (history). Nothing like that even. OK. So I'm behind the times. So I'll live with it.
So Dear Readers, am I one of those people one would label conservative? Maybe even a "right wing" conservative? Let's see.
Further facts: I have nothing against gun ownership; somebody would have to give me a damn good reason before I'd agree to register a gun (and yes, I do know that we license those who drive vehicles and I understand the reasons); I do believe in the death penalty for certain very serious (also, very limited categories of circumstance) acts against society (in fact, I don't believe a society without such punishment can very correctly call itself civilized); I do believe in war (it's sometimes the only way to security -peace); war can be made preemptively and sometimes must be taken on as a unilateral action by a nation (security is independent; another nation's disagreement or indecision cannot in the end be the determining factor in a decision concerning the safety of the lives of a nation's own citizens); international law except in very limited areas (e.i. maritime law, developed over centuries) is evolving but not presently particularly useful as to decisions concerning war (it can be useful as it evolves and develops in certain areas such as trade and commerce matters); a concept such as the United Nations is useful in many areas, even conflict resolution that presents danger of armed conflict and in peace maintenance after armed conflicts (even "pre" armed conflict in limited circumstances) and in the areas of environmental and human rights as well as other areas; the present UN is itself, as constituted, a global problem, etc.
And there are more, much more evidential facts for the Reader to consider. Am I a "Right Wing" conservative?
Oh yeah, I also was among that pack of rioters 40 years ago that was involved in the racial disturbance at the University when James Meredith, contrary to Mississippi court rulings, forced entry onto our previously all white campus. Moreover I stood defiantly as an obstacle in the front lines at the University cafeteria when federal marshals forcibly caused the black man to sit down and dine with us.
And oh... I hate this PC stuff. Can't we just call a spade a spade? (Oops again.) I think human resources people should still be personnel department people (with little or no decision making responsibilities-their degrees are a crock-kind of like those received from our university teachers' schools these days. Further, I believe there is an old and dying Europe and a potentially dynamic "new" Europe; and I'd probably like Fox TV too. /Now I've never had the opportunity to watch Fox; but I suspect those that say they don't (won't) watch it are effete snob-sissies or liberals (same thing).
And there is still even more cant and rant that lies within the heart and mind of this conservative Southern soul.
Maybe "Right Wing Nut" more than conservative? That me? You the Reader be the judge. Write me. (glen@twg.com.ua)
(Confession - a small one: At the University in 1962 I had to pass through the rioters to rescue my 1959 Fiat which was parked near the Lyceum which was surrounded by federal marshals and National Guard troops. They were being pelted by all manner of objects as trucks, cars, etc. were being set aflame. I was a 20-year-old cashier in the cafeteria line ready to serve classmate Meredith whose courage I admired when the adults forcibly removed me. I didn't put up much of a fight-just registered my objection.)
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Read also previous issue' articles:
What it Was, Was Football
An American in Perish
The Baseball Way to Pleasure and Wisdom
What a Fine Mess
At My Table
The King is Gone- and So are You
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