Not long ago in Kyiv, a goldfish was sacrificed. Let's call her Wanda, as in the movie by the same name.
Wanda, a cute, formerly pert little thing with customary black, bulging eyes, was dropped into a bottle of mineral water (the brand of which was well-known, but not important to our story).
Supposedly, after a few gasps, Wanda went belly-up.
In various publications and on television the next day, Wanda received more attention than one would expect for the passing of an important Ukrainian personage. One awaited funeral dirges to blare from the loudspeakers on Kreshchatyk.
There was only one problem, however. The story was, as we say in the West, a canard - a red herring, a damned lie. Science, not to mention common sense, doesn't support the fact that poor Wanda would necessarily have succumbed in this crystal-clear pool.
It seems that someone with an interest in another form of the water business orchestrated the demonstration which led to Wanda's demise. The reason, apparently, was to suggest that bottled mineral water was, in some manner, not healthy.
It was all rather dramatic and, we are sure Wanda would think, unnecessary. The mineral water bottlers collectively fought back, relying on scientific evidence that most anything can kill most anything else, taken out of its natural element.
Welcome to Eastern Europe, home of the yellow press. Here, sufficient coin can ensure that your story will be told in the news columns and on television. Having lived with this for the last decade, I am convinced the system won't change in my lifetime.
It is important, however, to call it what it is -- advertising, sometimes adversarial and confrontational but advertising all the same, wrapped in the guise of a news report. It ain't news, though the controversy created around it may be.
If everyone is aware of this, what passes for "news" is merely a collection of competing ideas and opinion, however far the truth is stretched. Put in that light, it perhaps is no worse than American tabloid reports of Elvis sightings and the occasional Martian landing.
We merely have a media free-for-all. Only the naive and the uninformed are suckered by this institutional charade, not unlike those who believe that Georgia Championship Wrestling is sport, or those who don't believe there was a landing on the moon in July 1969.
Over the years, I have advised that the purchase of media outside of clearly marked advertorials is a slippery slope. Often, however, those being advised have asked for skis.
If they have been in Ukraine more than a fortnight, they are practical sorts and adhere to the adage that when in Rome, do as the Romans. This is not true, however, in every case. The fact is that a good story will invariably rise to the top of the pile, if one is innovative.
However, multinationals need to and can afford to lead the charge against the onerous practice of placing paid news stories. It is an old saw, but they need to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Perhaps the most beneficial social responsibility project would target Ukraine's yellow press.
One could envision a program that raised journalistic standards and salaries, eliminating the need for reporters who currently live on subsistence wages to sell their talent in the commercial marketplace.
From my perch, having started out as a cub reporter when I was 19, I would love to have a part in designing such a program. It would be a contribution to Ukraine far greater than any government program with which I have been associated. Such a program would, of course, have to start with the oligarchs who own the news media. As difficult as it might be, they would need to be shown the importance of a legitimately paid staff, and the need to restrict opinion to the editorial pages.
They would have to be made to realize that warring unsubstantiated stories - as in the case with Wanda the fish - eventually make even legitimate news unbelievable.
Besides, buying a story is like shooting fish in a barrel. Pardon the expression, Wanda.
In the interest of disclosure, The Willard Group represents one of the mineral water companies on the receiving end of the Wanda experiment. However, in the subsequent roundtable news event, there were no paid articles in the press.
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