ISSUE: 194
Religion is what keeps the poor man from murdering the rich.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
POTPOURRI

Typical bloke


A passenger plane traveling to California is suddenly hit with a severe engine problem and plummets into the Pacific Ocean.
The impact is such that the plane is ripped apart, leaving only one man alive.
After hours of swimming he spies an island and drags himself up onto the sandy shores. Though he is half-drowned and aware that he is thousands of miles from home, he cannot but admire the beauty of the island he has found himself on.
Looking down the beach he sees a figure lying on the beach, another survivor from the crash. He runs over and sees that she is not breathing, so quickly he gives her the kiss of life. After several attempts she coughs into life. As she wipes the hair from her face he now can see who it is...
it's Kylie Minogue!
Forever grateful to him for saving her life, they strike up an immediate bond, and over the following weeks, while stranded on the island, they fall madly in love.
One day Kylie is walking down the beach and notices her new found love sitting on the rocks by the beach, staring out to sea, with a look of sorrow on his face. She wanders over to him, and asks what is wrong.
"Kylie," he says, "The last few weeks have been the greatest of my life. We've found this island paradise. We have all the food and water we could require, and I have you, but still I can't help feeling there's something missing."
Kylie replies: "What my darling? What is it that you need? I'll do anything."
"Well there is one thing - would you mind putting on my shirt?" "OK" "And my trousers?" "OK"
At this point he gets up and grabs some charcoal from the ground, and draws a neat moustache on her lips.
"OK... Can you start to walk around the island, and I'll set off the other way and meet you half way."
"OK dear, whatever will make you happy," Kylie said.
So off they set. After an hour walking he eventually sees her heading towards him along the beach, at which point he breaks into a sprint, runs up to her, grabs her by the shoulders and shouts:
"HEY MATE, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHO I'M SHAGGING!"


More in the section:
Famous People's Sayings
Speeding Ticket
A scary thought

Read also previous issue' articles:
Bumper Stickers
Things Found Only in America
Devil in the Church
Generosity Begins at Home
Murphy's Other Laws
Some Interesting Facts



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COVER
Saluting the SlavaGeek

DIALOGUE AND DEBATE
Toiling in the Shadow

RANDOM NOTES
Headlines From the Edge
A Dead Fish Called Wanda
The Proper Marriage

KNOWLEDGE CENTER
Ukraine's Hetman Mazepa: The Eternal Dissident
Tying the Knot: A Practical Guide

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Time and Place: Ukraine at the crossroads

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Euan MacDonald: A guitarist and his Drum

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Ode to Kyivan Spring
The Ritual A Ukrainian Inheritance
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Lilies

POTPOURRI
Typical bloke
Famous People's Sayings
Speeding Ticket
A scary thought

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A Conundrum: Equal Rights or Affirmative Action?
My New Exercise Program
The English Language

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The Democratic Realities of the War on Terrorism

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Kyiv Seafood Cakes

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Most Doubt Yuschenko Will Be President
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Cyclone damage forces Bat'kivshchyna skipper to return home


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