 Jack Valenti, the dapper head of the The Motion Picture Association of America, believes that strict enforcement is the only way to solve the intellectual property piracy problem in Eastern Europe. But then, Valenti has never attempted to buy a legitimate copy of a movie in Kyiv. I've never seen such an animal in Ukraine - in English, Russian, Ukrainian or Swahili, for that matter. What's more, I don't believe you could find one with the Hubble Telescope. Read my lips, Mr. Valenti: Get real. Piracy is getting worse in Eastern Europe, not better, even though there have been some efforts to control it. Konstantin Zemchenkov, director of the Russian Anti-Piracy Organization, which is funded by Hollywood interests, says that illegal copies in Russia account for nine out of every 10 DVDs sold and six of every 10 CDs. The fact is, the average Joe (or Igor), can't afford to spend a quarter of his monthly income on frivolities like a "legal" DVD, a videocassette or a compact disc that costs between $20 and $25, when a relatively good copy costs less than $6. This is why I, a fellow of relative means, have collected about 300 pirated movies since 1994. It's why many expats line up in front of downtown Kyiv kiosks on Friday nights. We buy movies, which boldly suggest that we should call the FBI or 1-800-NO COPIES to report our sins. If it's in English, chances are the copy is mediocre at best, and the sound sometimes seems to have been recorded in a barrel. Even a Peace Corps volunteer on a stipend would pay more for a good copy with Dolby sound and a true home movie experience, but copies that good are a rarity. The expat market is tiny. The Ukrainian market is large, but poor. So, piracy is the great equalizer. I ran into Valenti a long time ago. He was parading around Washington's Capitol Hill discussing this very topic. Tex Ritter, a B-movie singing cowpoke who was also an industry leader against piracy, preceded Valenti in his crusade. Tex and I were acquaintances (the word "friends" is overused), when I was a country music columnist for United Press International. He was my source on many stories having to do with piracy. That was back when records were large vinyl disks or bulky eight-track tapes, rather than the silver discs we use today. I wrote sympathetic stories. Tex was a great advocate for the music industry, and I later dined at his Nashville home with his widow and son, but by this time he had gone to that great round-up in the sky. So, by genetic print, I should be totally averse to pointing at Rocky V or whatever, and telling the kiosk fellow I will take a copy, so long as it doesn't have too many squiggly lines and a blue tint, and I don't have to read the actors' lips. But I am not adverse in the slightest. Valenti, who is retiring from his job this year, is wrong. Strict enforcement might result in a raid here and there, or even the closure of a factory that churns out counterfeits. Inevitably, though, the kiosks will be restocked and the factories reopened. Previous enforcement failures and common sense tells us that the problem is one of herding butterflies. It can't be done. The answer is lower-priced DVDs and music discs, though this is an anathema to Valenti, a former aide to the late President Lyndon Johnson who has been in his industry job for many, many years. Lower prices and licensed local factories are not revolutionary ideas. In fact, Columbia Tri-Star, a division of Sony, and Warner Home Video, a division of Time Warner, have recently slashed the price of DVDs sold in Russia to - in Columbia Tri-Star's case - just over $10 for a DVD. Interviewed by the Moscow Times, Vyacheslav Dobychin, general director of Columbia Tri-Star's licensee in Russia, said the idea "is to get Russian consumers used to buying licensed material, but at a price the population can afford." This seems almost novel in its simplicity. If a profit can be made, why should audio and video products carry roughly the same price the world over? If factories are licensed in Eastern Europe, it also creates local jobs. But Valenti insists that "the only way to kill piracy in Russia is through strong copyright laws, with stern penalties and government resolve to enforce that law." Mr. Valenti, don't hold your breathe.
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