"When are you going to pay me back, Ivan?"
"As soon as my rich uncle from the States comes to Ukraine to visit me."
"Well, that's an old story, one I've been listening to for years."
"I can show you his letter."
"So what does he write?"
"He's asking me to buy him a ticket."
Spiritual Reflection
A woman goes to confession:
"I'm so sinful, father!" she says.
"Tell me about your sins, daughter."
"Every time I look in the mirror I think, 'I'm so beautiful, I'm so beautiful...'".
"Go in peace," the priest says. "It is no sin, my daughter, it is a delusion."
Family Matters
"Who is this handsome man?" the little boy asks his mother, pointing at a photograph of an athletic young man with a full head of dark, wavy hair.
"That's your father," his mother says.
"Then who is that fat, bald man who lives with us?"
Cable-Ready
A boy and his family are invited to attend a party at an oligarch's mansion. The boy is amazed to see a huge TV, which looks as if it's been cast from solid gold. He takes a deep breath and asks the host, "Excuse me, sir...is this TV made of gold?"
"Yes it is," the oligarch replies casually. "Twenty-four-carat solid gold, to be exact."
"But how do you watch it?" the boy asks, obviously confused.
"It's not for watching, son. It's for showing."
Health Clinic
"Doctor, my husband has a strange disease," the woman says. "I think it's from stress and overwork. Every time I start asking him for money, he can't hear me at all."
"Well, dear, it's not a disease - it's a talent."
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