A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured that if he hurried and played quickly, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the ninth fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up and right smack into the top of the tree trunk. It thudded back on the ground, not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."
Lawyers don't lie
A young British attorney arrived at his office covered with bruises and scratches.
"What happened to you?' a colleague asked.
"Oh, it's some bloody story," he said. "Yestereve, I came home from the club, and what do I see in my dining room? There was a frog - a small female frog. I took a seat at the table when she said in perfect English, 'If you're a gentleman, shouldn't you offer me a seat at your table?' Surprised as I was, being a gentleman, I did as she asked. I took a swig of brandy, and she said, 'No brandy for me?' Well, as a gentleman, I poured brandy for her, and the bloody frog drank it in one gulp. Then I had a slice of pudding, and she said, 'What about me?' What would you do? Of course, as a gentleman, I shared the pudding with her. Then I undressed and went to bed. The bloody frog said, 'What about me?' So, I took her into the bed. As soon as she was in the bed, she at once transformed into a young lady, and completely naked to that! At that time my wife unexpectedly walked in. I told her all the story, but she wouldn't believe me!"
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