 Political Insight |
Leaders answer an ages-old question:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
• GEORGE W. BUSH:
"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here."
• RALPH NADER:
"The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV."
• RUSH LIMBAUGH:
"I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to do it, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing roads paid for by tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money; money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross."
• ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
"To die in the rain. Alone."
• BARBARA WALTERS:
"In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it survived a serious case of molt and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road."
• ARISTOTLE:
"It is the nature of chickens to cross roads."
• KARL MARX:
"For the chicken, it was a historic inevitability."
• BILL GATES
"I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken."
• ALBERT EINSTEIN:
"Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?"
• COLONEL HARLAN SANDERS
"Did I miss one?"
|
More in the section:
Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinker's Soul
Sausage
The Parrot
Read also previous issue' articles:
Bumper Stickers
Things Found Only in America
Devil in the Church
Generosity Begins at Home
Murphy's Other Laws
Some Interesting Facts
|
| |
CONTACT US |
|
|
|
