The Konserzhki, or old women who sit in the lobbies of residential buildings in Kyiv, are a relatively new phenomenon. They started appearing on the scene about three to five years ago.
The Zhek (or local housing authority) built booths to hold them near building entrances and installed telephones. After that, it was the residents themselves who took the initiative. When code locks were put on doors in some apartment buildings, the question arose: What are we paying these grand old dames for?
The size of Konserzhki's salaries is decided at tenant meetings, but not everyone takes part for one reason or another. Some tenants refuse to pay on principle, explaining: "there's nothing to take in my flat so I'm afraid I won't be contributing".
Those who do agree, usually fork out around seven to 10 hryvnyas a month for services rendered. The typical Konserzhka is not always a babushka. But they are invariable women and range from fifty to sixty-five years old. Often this is the only kind of work they can find.
Even more often they are locals, sometimes living in the same block of flats. Their duties range from security, like scolding rambunctious kids or questioning strangers, to maintenance - watering the lobby plant and mopping the first floor once in a while. They are, of course, no help in stopping other tenants from stealing light bulbs from upper-floor hallways and rarely venture onto the dark staircases.
Some Konserzhki, however, have more serious faults. Let's say, for example, that there has been a burglary in one of the apartments on the third floor. A TV set, tape recorder or some money was stolen in broad daylight. The question is: How did the Konserzhka not notice these items being taken out of the building, especially since the culprits walked right past her. Of course, they didn't throw their haul out of the window.
In others buildings, the Konserzhkis can't even remember the faces of the building's tenants. If they do, they still may not let them in late at night, as they can't be bothered with getting up to open the door. Other Konserzhki become the source of building gossip, letting everyone know who came home with whom.
But the most unpleasant situation exists in those block of flats where the Konserzhki themselves live. They create their own rules and take revenge on those who don't pay for their services. Besides not letting you in at night or spreading rumor among other tenants, they can also give your guests a hard time.
In warmer months, Konserzhki come out of their booths and can usually be found sitting on the benches in front of the building. On weekends, many will invite by a friend for company, which sometimes turns into a drinking binge.
So, do we need these Konserzhki? Well, first it must be said that Konserzhki vary as much as the buildings that they watch. If we are talking about your average block of flats, there very well may be no Konserzhka or coded lock on the door anyway. In which case, depending on the neighborhood, the building entrance could be quite a frightening site. Instead of the nosey Konserzhki, a visitor could be greeted by a group of drunken teenagers or a bum sleeping on the steps. If you still don't want her around, attend your next tenant meeting.
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