ISSUE: 209
"Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."
- Laurence J. Peter
POTPOURRI

Pravda


Getting Trashed

A young man in the Russian town of Magnitogorsk was so attached to his mobile phone that he took an eight-floor plunge after it. Being a bit tipsy, the man had accidentally dropped the mobile phone into the garbage chute of his apartment. When he tried to crawl into the chute, it collapsed under his weight. When rescuers arrived, they found him in the bin below with scratches and soiled clothing but no serious injuries. Fakty

Naked Heat

Soaring temperatures in Kyiv at the end of May led many people out on to the streets - some with little regard for conventions on dress. One respectable looking gentlemen from Vinnytsa parked his foreign-model sedan on Lviv Square, got out and proceeded to get naked. After carefully placing his mobile phone and documents on top of his discarded clothing, the 37-year-old ran onto the road and began jumping into the back seats of cars stopped at the traffic light. According to witnesses, the man would then return to the sidewalk and lie on his belly. When a doctor tried to treat his scrapes, the distraught streaker fought him off savagely. After making a quick dash into a nearby bank, whose employees promptly ejected him, the man again returned to his prostrate position on the pavement, where police arrived to handcuff him.
Fakty

Bee Lined

A beekeeper in Lviv region was attacked and killed by his own bees. Late one evening, his daughter noticed that a swarm was vacating one of the several hives maintained by the family near their home. The 37-year-old apiarist rushed to drive them back into their honey comes, but the angry insects turned on their master instead. Five minutes later he died of the stings.
Segodnya

Pension Pincher

A forty-seven-year-old woman in Simferopol was so distraught by the death of her father that she refrained from annulling his passport. Instead she learned to forge his signature and got power of attorney to receive his pensions. Before being discovered, she had collected almost UAH 13,000 over a five-year period. Now she has to pay it back plus UAH 850 in fines. As for the official who notarized her power-of-attorney status, he got two years in jail.
Segodnya

CornY

The border guards in northern Ukraine are used to looking for illegal aliens in all the wrong places. But when 42 Chinese migrants were found hidden under a truck full of corn, they were particularly pleased with their haul.
The Kamaz was registered in Vinnytsa, stopped in Sumy and driven by
a resident of Kirovohrad. The border guards were assisted by the SBU, MVD and anti-organized crime squad. The 42 Chinese were sent back to Russia. Segodnya

Bee Lined

A beekeeper in Lviv region was attacked and killed by his own bees. Late one evening, his daughter noticed that a swarm was vacating one of the several hives maintained by the family near their home. The 37-year-old apiarist rushed to drive them back into their honey comes, but the angry insects turned on their master instead. Five minutes later he died of the stings.
Segodnya

Pension Pincher

A forty-seven-year-old woman in Simferopol was so distraught by the death of her father that she refrained from annulling his passport. Instead she learned to forge his signature and got power of attorney to receive his pensions. Before being discovered, she had collected almost UAH 13,000 over a five-year period. Now she has to pay it back plus UAH 850 in fines. As for the official who notarized her power-of-attorney status, he got two years in jail.
Segodnya

Corny

The border guards in northern Ukraine are used to looking for illegal aliens in all the wrong places. But when 42 Chinese migrants were found hidden under a truck full of corn, they were particularly pleased with their haul.
The Kamaz was registered in Vinnytsa, stopped in Sumy and driven by
a resident of Kirovohrad. The border guards were assisted by the SBU, MVD and anti-organized crime squad. The 42 Chinese were sent back to Russia. Segodnya


More in the section:
YESTERDAY
Natalie Wood
The Water Cooler

Read also previous issue' articles:
Bumper Stickers
Things Found Only in America
Devil in the Church
Generosity Begins at Home
Murphy's Other Laws
Some Interesting Facts



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RANDOM NOTES: Approaching 60 at 80 MPH
THE WORKPLACE: Naked Business People
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E.U. Membership : Maybe in the Next Ice Age
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Of Bear Hugs and Eurocrats: Assessing Ukrainian Democracy
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Why America Will Perish
Sofiyivka Park: Historical Romance in Driving Distance
Mr. Baroque

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Nothing and Everything

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Pravda
Natalie Wood
The Water Cooler

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