A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...'God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto.' Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. She again prays...'God, please let me win the Lotto! I've lost my business, my house, and I'm going to lose my car as well.' Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays...'My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order.' Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.
The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself... 'Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket'
Liberty, Fraternity... Relief
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness. After awhile, he finds himself in a very high class neighbourhood... big, stately residences.. no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness's.
He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem. As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobbie, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know." "I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie... "Just follow me". He leads him to
a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the Bobbie. "Whiz away SIR, anywhere you want." The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen... manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is Greatly relieved. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the Bobbie, "That was really decent of you... is that what you call "British Hospitality?"
"No sir," replied the Bobbie. "that is what we call the French Embassy."
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