Getting Married
In Soviet times, Ukrainians registered their marriages at ZAGS. Before that, there was the Eastern Orthodox Church. And even earlier there was the pagan way.
At one time, East Slavic grooms - including Ukrainians, Russians and Belarusians - kidnapped their fiancees. Of course the whole thing was agreed with her parents beforehand. The bride's family paid a symbolic ransom and were presented with a live rooster in return. The bride's mother would bake and send the groom a treat. On the day before the nuptial act, all was silent and solemn in preparation for the next day's festivities.
On the morning of the wedding, the bride's parents would lay a fur on the bench in the main room of their home. The maiden would sit on the fur while her mother dressed her. The groom showed up with his entourage only upon receiving an invitation from a messenger. His best man would knock at the gate. Only after receiving the parents' blessing would they move on.
The ceremony was held in the afternoon, closer to evening. During this time, the bride's mother would prepare the wedding bed, which included 21 sheaves, (to symbolize fiery passion) a fur blanket with a feather on top, and a cup of honey, oats, wheat and rye set at the bedside.
Once all was prepared the groom's mother would arrive to walk around the bed with a berry branch (symbolizing cleanliness and fertility).
At the beginning of the ceremony, the younger brother or teenage relative of the bride would stand in the place of the groom, who would pay to take his place. The bride was accompanied by two maids, usually her relatives, carrying two saucers: one with a kerchief, comb and mirror; and the other with two spoons and a crust of bread.
The young couple would each carry a candle. As they arrived, they were sprinkled with grain by the matchmaker. A heathen priest performed the ceremony, holding both by the hand and then inviting them to kiss three times. Then he presented them with a cup of honey drink from which both drank.
The nuptial ended with the groom throwing the cup to the floor and both stomping it under foot. "Let any who would sow discontent between us be trod underfoot in such a way," he would announce. According to tradition, if the bride stomped on the cup first she would end up being the head of the family.
Then there was a banquet, after which the newly weds were followed home by guests. The young couple would hold tightly to each other to keep from being separated by the guests who followed them home, yanking at the sleeves of their clothing. This demonstrated their commitment to stay together.
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