 Famous People's Sayings |
Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister... and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir ... mighty scarce.
- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea ... visit people only once a year.
-- Victor Borge
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
- Henny Youngman
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up'.
- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.
- W.C. Fields
|
More in the section:
Health Facts
Another Blonde
Joke (Ugh!)
Read also previous issue' articles:
Bumper Stickers
Things Found Only in America
Devil in the Church
Generosity Begins at Home
Murphy's Other Laws
Some Interesting Facts
|
| |
CONTACT US |
|
|
|
