Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early every day, so one day they decide that after she leaves, they'll take off early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is she to know?
The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.
The redhead is elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she hears noises coming from her bedroom. She quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closes the door and creeps out of her house.
The next day the brunette and redhead talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early also, she exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"
Lady Speeder
An older lady (OL) gets pulled over for speeding...
OL: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
OL: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
OL: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
OL: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
OL: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
OL: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
OL: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
OL: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
OL: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
OL: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
OL: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
OL: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies!
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