Last June I received a text message from man-about-Kyiv Robert Reed-often known as our "Observer" character-wishing me a happy Father's Day. For starters, he's not my son and I am not his father. I don't even want to adopt him. He's almost my age.
But Robert was merely nostalgic. It seems the third Sunday in June-designated as Father's Day in America-- rolls around each year hardly scaring up a comment in Ukraine, the land that seems to have a holiday for virtually every category of species, occasion and religious moment.
Some offices even continue to celebrate Red Army Day. Having lived in Ukraine 13 years, I am still not eligible for consideration. The only wars I fought in back in the U.S. were the Cola wars-on Coca-Cola's side against the dark side, otherwise known as Pepsi.
Earlier in the day, I had received two e-cards from my daughter in Charlotte, NC wishing me the best on Father's Day. If she had not sent them and Robert had not electronically nudged me, I would have been blissfully ignorant, not even thinking about the day.
On reflection, though, I believe Ukraine should have Father's Day, and I would suggest that it be on a Sunday. That way, no government office or company loses a day of work, and the greeting card people, the flower people and the restaurant people make out like bandits.
I am serious here. I really, really am.
At last count, I have four and a half children (a stepchild), with ages ranging from six to 38; and, by golly, I deserve to be recognized and receive an ugly tie and a card scribbled on by a kid. I like those things. The uglier the tie, the better, and the scribbling to me looks like a work by Picasso.
So, accordingly, I am starting a campaign to make any Sunday of the year Father's Day in Ukraine. Personally I would prefer it not be around those holidays one would generally receive presents anyway, and preferably not within 30 days of either side of my birthday, May 9.
This is to take nothing away from mothers-who are generously covered by March 8 International Woman's Day. They deserve that day, which, of course, is extended to any female form from babies to ancient blue-hairs and beyond.
I think a Father's Day for Ukraine gets back to the basics. Every father deserves his day. Yes, we deserve a 24-hour period not to have to take out the trash and not to be yelled at for having that extra swig of Russian Standard. We need this one day to watch our and only our television programs, even if it's tractor pulls, wrestling matches and Eastenders.
I have always felt most holidays, such as Secretaries Day in America, to be phony inventions of the Candy Manufacturers Association and the Floral Society of America. In this day and age, does anyone actually admit to being a secretary?
Frankly, I have always been suspicious of Easter and Christmas, and wondered seriously about the religious folks and their conspiracy with Toy Manufacturers and the Egg Growing Cooperative of America. However, we won't go there.
In fact, the other special days in America, such as Grandmother and Grandfather Day, seem to be a little over the top. After all, shouldn't they be covered by Mother's Day and Father's Day? Am I missing something here?
Anyway, I know it's a long shot, but if you believe Ukraine should have a Father's Day, just write your name on this column and mail it back to me at PO Box 221, Kyiv, 03150, Ukraine. Better yet, just send me e-mail to the address at the bottom of this page
I can't promise you it will happen, but you will feel good about yourself. You will be part of a great movement.
To support Mike Willard's idea for a new holiday, or to inform him about anything else on your mind, send mail to: mike.willard@twg.com.ua
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