I don't know how you feel about it-but I think awards in the advertising industry are phony.

Think about it for a moment.

Is it really an honor to be chosen for a First Place award in the category of candy bars, sold in red and green wrappers…on the third aisle, second shelf at Safeway.

I think not. But that's what this business has come to-with Effies, Johnnies, Clios, Debbies-you name it.

These days winning an advertising award is like shooting whales in a barrel. Have you ever seen an ad agency that announced from the start that it wasn't "award winning"?

(Yeah, we enter a lot of these ad contests, but we only get honorable mentions.)

I have been in this business 25 years and I have a closet full of awards. I have awards shaped like trailer hitches, the kind you put on the back of your pickup truck to pull the U-Haul.

I have awards that look like phallic symbols….that look like crystal teardrops…that look like, for goodness sake, bowling trophies.

What's all this junk good for?

Perhaps in a nuclear decimated 22nd Century, someone could use them as weapons for the next war.

The fact is, the ad business is not about awards. It is not even about that miserably misused word "creativity." It's about clear, targeted messages that move people to action.

Remember those words my friend: Move People to Action. That means buying-whether its hamburgers or houses you're selling.

A former head of a major bottling company once said, and I am paraphrasing here:

"My agency did creative work, but we didn't sell product. They did win awards, however. But the fact is, I don't care about awards."

Smart man.

In Ukraine, awards are given for showing up - and sometimes forking over cash. A few years ago - after finishing as an also-ran in a contest-we were approached by the contest organizers.

They said we could finish third the next year if we paid for the honor. Bull pucky.

If I were an advertiser or a marketer, there is only one award I would really, really appreciate: A framed graph showing that my sales were on the rise.

Now that would be an award.

My name is Mike Willard, and I am the Ukraine Observer.